Just call me anxious

Lying awake in my bed with yawn tears streaming down my face, but I’m not ready to sleep. I probably couldn’t if I tried.

Instead I’ll just go over all the things I know could possibly go wrong. Or meditate on the kindness people have showed.

I’ve had some really nice comments, messages, tweets, emails and texts from friends and family. I was surprised when I saw messages from family I didn’t know were still around. It’s been nice to see everyone come out and send me cheer.

I feel a bit better knowing that when I come out, my friends will be there waiting for me and ready to provide food, support and love.

I am so lucky that despite going into the hospital tomorrow to remove an organ, I’ll be coming out with a better understanding of how much people truly care for me. And that makes me lucky.

I know the first few days are going to be pain and grogginess. I might be upset and angry, too. But the good thing is that some of the people who will be supporting me have done this before and will be there to guide me.

Everything is going to be OK.

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