For about seven weeks all I could think about was the pain.
My abdomen had swelled to the size of a watermelon. I had to pee every five minutes. I couldn’t stand for more than three hours every day. I could FEEL my uterus inside my body, burning and twisting, trying to claw its way out of my vaginal canal.
My womb was larger than average. It was swollen, my doctor had said, adding that it was sort of like a football-shaped balloon.
Maybe if I associated my abnormal uterus with an everyday, pretty mundane object like a football, an object that many people can visualize or relate to, maybe I’d be able to relax.
I mean at least my uterus didn’t look like some obscure relic from the 18th century that I had never heard of.
My uterus looked like a big football. I’m OK. Footballs are normal. My uterus is normal.
But my uterus is NOT normal.
Because buried inside its tissue are blisters. Painful ones.
Adenomyosis was a secondary diagnosis to my endometriosis, an illness I will carry with me for the rest of the foreseeable future.
Endo is what causes most of my pain. The hottest heating pad burns my back, but barely touch my sore lower back muscles.
I thought that by two months post op, I’d notice a difference in the pain. I mean, I didn’t believe I’d be a completely different person but I thought I’d find some relief. Instead, I’m noticing new pain or returning pain that diminished after a previous surgery.
Intercourse hurts even more now. Bowel movements are hell and my lower back keeps a steady rhythm of burning and ache.
Is it too soon to tell if there is a difference between post op and pre op?